About this Blog

Learning to be a Leader is a blog to chronicle my journey towards becoming an Educational Leader. See my first entry for more information.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Helping Military Children Prepare for the First Day of School


Going back to school can be both exciting and also scary for kids as they acclimate themselves to new classmates, teachers, and routines. However for some of the students that will sitting in our classrooms when school resumes, the "scariness" of back to school is compounded by the fact that least one of their parents is not with them to help deal with the transition. This fall thousands of children from military families will be returning to school wondering when their mom or dad will return.

As an educator, it is important to know how we can help make that transition easier for the children of our military families. The above resource offers information designed to help educators understand military lingo, provides resources for both the teacher as well as books to use to help classmates understand what is happening, and countless activities designed to help our military children adjust to school at a time that is already extremely stressful.


During the various phases of the deployment cycle, students may be experiencing a variety of emotions and behaviors. It is important for educators to create open channels of communication with family members, remembering that ALL members of the family are experiencing challenges during this time of instability. The needs of the family will vary depending on existing support systems, (See guide for suggested resources) however if the teacher and school actively engage military family members, then they can work together to ensure that the children are receiving the support that they need in order to be successful. 


When a child comes into our classrooms experience hardship or challenges it is up to us to ensure that they receive the support that they need to be successful. When the children are the children of the brave men and woman serving our country in the armed forces, we each have a greater responsibility to take care of these kids... they are, after all, the children of heroes!






This blog is dedicated to the men and woman serving on the USS George H.W. Bush:




Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Leadership Ambition Gap

My passion and the topic of the Ph.D. research is woman in leadership. This topic is close to my heart for many reasons... including the fact that I have two daughters in very male dominated careers (one has a degree in Industrial Engineering, the other has a degree in Criminal Justice). I have seen time and time again the obstacles they continue to face in their careers. Mistakenly, I thought it would be different in education, especially considering more than 80% of the people in education are females. However, if you look at top level leadership positions, the percentage of female leaders is not much higher than in most of other industries.

I could go on and on, however the purpose of this blog is to introduce some of the topics in Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In.  In her book, Sandberg talks about how she and other women of her generation grew up with the idealistic notion that she had endless opportunites open to her. At no point did she consider that someday she may be expected to have to balance career and family. She explained that "integrating professional and personal aspirations proved far more challenging than we had imagined."

Despite the fact that woman earn 57% of the undergraduate degrees, and 60% of the master's degrees, woman often find that in their attempt to "have it all" something has to give, and often that something is career. This reality has manifested itself in a narrowing pipeline with many qualified females entering the job market but by the time that pipeline is filling leadership positions the pool of woman has been significantly reduced due in part to what Sandberg calls the "Leadership Ambition Gap".
While many woman are as professionally ambitions as men, research shows that fewer woman seek  senior level jobs. Studies also show that woman "are less likely than their male peers to characterize themselves as leaders, visionaries, self-confident, and willing to take risks" (p. 16).  

With more men striving for leadership roles, it is not surprising that they far out number women, especially considering some of the challenges that women must still overcome.  According to Sandberg this pattern starts long before women enter the workforce, in fact researchers argue it starts as early as kindergarten, when girls overwhelming choose being a mommy over being the president. Society often supports this expectation. Professional ambition is expected of men where as it is often seen as optional for women. Moreover, when a women is seen as ambitious, it is often seen in a negative light... "She is very ambitious" is not a compliment in our culture. Professional accomplishments of men are celebrated, whereas, when women experience professional accomplishments, society will question the "cost" of those accomplishments. Society expects women to marry and raise a family and when professional accomplishments interfere with those societal expectations, the "cost" is seen as being too great.

For most men, ambition means that they achieve desired goals in their career. However ambition for women may include climbing the corporate ladder, raising children, seeking personal fulfillment, contributing to society, and improving the lives of others. I do not in any way mean to imply that men do not aspire to these same goals, rather that the cultural messages we send to our children are that society expects this more of women than of men. 

We need to reflect on the cultural messages we are sending to our children. Girls that assert themselves and take charge are often called "bossy," very seldom if ever would a boy be called bossy for assuming a leadership role. Girls are given dolls to practice their role as mothers whereas boys are given tools to practice doing jobs that they may have later in life. Boys are superheroes while girls are princesses. What messages do these gender-biased practices send to our girls?

Closing the Leadership Ambition Gap will not happen based on what women do today, rather to truly change, we need to look at the messages we, as a society, continue to send to our girls. We need to let our girls wear capes, not call them bossy when they are taking the lead, let them know it's OK to be ambitious, and most importantly when they do grow up to assume that leadership role, we need to stop calling them the "Head Bitch in Charge" because this not only hurts our girls, it hurts our society.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

The Anticipation is Killing Me!!!

This has become my motto this summer as I patiently wait for what's to come. For the past two years I have undergone rigorous training to become a turn around leader. This training included both classwork and field work in one of our district's neediest schools. While completing the field work, I was able to initiate programs and procedures designed to strategically target the schools needs. I worked with the school's staff and leadership, and designed a plan to ensure that the program continued after my field work was completed. The programs worked... Moving the school up two letter grades on the state evaluation system. So now that I have finished my training, I wait to see where the road will take me, my next steps, believing that when the time is right I will move into a leadership position.  

Unfortunately, patience has never been one of my virtues. I was the kid that used to go searching under beds for holiday gifts, the one that has to show someone their gift as soon as I buy it and the one that believes in the saying "dessert first" after all who wants to wait for dinner when there is chocolate to be had!!!

Although now, with things beyond my control, I need to have faith that when the time is right I will get there. They tell me to breathe, to relax, that they know I am ready and that my time is coming soon. They tell me to have patience. I'm trying! Boy, am I trying but the anticipation is killing me!!


Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Fathers Day

This weekend was not only the first Father's day since my father passed away, it would have also been his 76 birthday. However, rather than mourning, we decided to spend the weekend doing something my dad would have loved. As a child, we would spend part of every summer at the beach. We would rise with the sun and head to the shore in search of the biggest shells we could find. Those mornings with dad were precious, we would chase crabs back to the sea and splash about in the waves for hours.Those are happy memories... perhaps the reason  that even to this day I find the beach to be my peaceful escape whenever I need a break. I feel blessed to have those happy memories... but I also can't help but wonder how many little girls were missing their daddies this Father's Day. How many of our nation's children were sending skype messages to their dads who are serving in our armed forces over seas? How many of our children are growing up without a "father" role model in their life? I am blessed to have had the opportunity to make memories with my dad and I will continue to hope that all children missing their dads on this fathers day will soon have their dads home with them. May God keep our military out of harms way, so that they can return home to make memories with their children.

Dedicated to our nation's Military Dads... Happy Father's Day.


Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Life-Changing Experiences Ahead

Well it is official... after two years, I have completed my specialized Turn-Around leadership training. The Principal Rapid Orientation and Preparation in Educational Leadership (PROPEL) program is designed to create leaders with the skills needed to work in my district's neediest schools. Our final course in Critical Urban Education was the end of a rigorous fast-paced program, during which I earned my degree in Educational Leadership along with both my Level 1 & Level 2 (Principal) credentials. So now that I am done....what's next?

Now the process begins....While I have my principal credentials, I will still need Assistant Principal experience before I am ready to take the helm of my own school. So my application for Assistant Principal positions is in the process of being "tweeked". Included is the extensive list of trainings with more than a dozen leadership trainings with the Center for Leadership and Learning, DDI training, SREB training, Marzano's Interrater Reliabilty Training, trainings in Data Teams and " Visible Learning". We studied Strategic Leadership, learned change theory, and all about 90-90-90 Schools. I understand how to build internal and external relationships, cultivate partnerships, and can develop a marketing plan that would rival an ad agency. More importantly, the PROPEL program was designed so that we gained real- world practical experience as learned about and applied the theories being taught in class. If you followed my blog over the past two years, you will see how these experiences have changed my thinking and ignited in me a desire to make a difference for a group of students that needs a leader with all the tools they can possible have!!

So... Its time to take the next step... to venture off in a new direction. This blog will continue to evolve as I transition into an official leadership role, and as I continue to learn and grow as a leader. As a life-long learner I have plans to continue on in school...working on my Ph.D.  All the classes I have taken this past year are part of that program, but I suspect it will take another 4 years to complete my Ph.D, so grad school will be in my future for a while! For now, I will begin applying for positions and hope that I will be placed wherever I can do the most good for children. Changes are in store, and I am looking forward to the ride!!!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Relationships and Leadership

Successful leaders need to be able to cultivate and nurture relationships. While this is true for leaders, it is equally true for us as individuals. On March 31st, the Huffington Post published an article called 8 Signs You're In The Right Relationship. According to the author, the 8 telling signs are designed to provide more concrete proof that you are with that special person. As I read the article, I reflected on a past relationship... Based on the fact that very few, if any, of the "signs" existed, it is no wonder that things worked out the way they did. On the other hand, almost all of the signs do exist in my current relationship, so if I view the information as truthful, I'm hopeful that I got it right this time around!!

Of course, as is often the case, when I reflect on what I have read, I relate it to all aspects of my life. This was no different. So taking a little creative liberty with the content of the article by rephrasing it to address leadership relationships, here are signs that you have a positive relationship with individuals in your work place:

1. You know what your staff needs to feel appreciated, even if those needs are different than yours. (Try reading  "The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace:Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People" by Gary Chapman and Paul White)

2. Conflicts are handled in a respectful and productive manner. Try reading "Working with Difficult People" by Muriel Soloman.

3. The relationship bolsters each person's self-esteem.

4. You are different enough to bring new perspectives, but on the same page where it matters most.

5. You are willing to put "we" before "me." There is a commitment to the greater good.

6. There is a genuine concern and emotional response when the person is not around.

Obviously, some if the signs in the article are NOT appropriate for the workplace, but the desire to put the people and the relationships with the people we work with in the forefront is essential if we hope to develop the relationships that can transform our schools.This focus on the development and well being of others and the desire to serve is consistent  with a model of leadership known as Servant leadership.

 Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership is an organization designed to share information about aspects of Servant Leadership. They offer a multitude of training materials, have a wide selection of books and even host an annual conference. Building effective relationships is crucial for all leaders, but for leaders in "Turn-Around" schools relationships are even more important.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

What defines me?

This was the question that inspired another project for my Critical Urban Ed class, which has turned out to be more of an exploration of self-discovery than anything else. I suppose we need to know how to relate and connect with our own culture before we can expect to connect with anothers. Anyway this week we were to create a "Culture Chest." The outside was to reflect how the world perceives us and the inside was to include items that reflected who we really are as a person. Figuring out what to put in my box that would define who I am was challenging except for one thing... My girls. They mean the world to me... One thing that defines me is the fact that I am their mother. Rather than putting a ton of pictures, I created this video... It focuses on their time participating in band activities since I was a band mom, not just for my own kids but also for the hundreds of kids they marched with over the years. We spent more than 10 years being involved in band programs, including the years my girls spent marching with the world class Boston Crusaders Drum & Bugle Corp.