The Woman in the Mirror

Have you ever stopped to think about mirrors... and all the crazy stories about mirrors? Mirrors are thought to be the doorway to the soul. By looking in a mirror we are able to see our true selves. Some cultures believe mirrors hold mystical powers. Even fairy tales speak of the power mirrors have to reveal truths. And shoud an unfortunate soul break a mirror, look out!. Romans believed that if you broke a mirror you would have 7 years of bad luck because a broken mirror meant a broken soul, and it would take 7 years to restore your soul. Fortunately for the Romans, if they were able to find all the pieces of the mirror and buried them they could undo their bad luck. Others believed that if grind pieces of the broken mirror you could counteract the jinx. Still others claim the only way to rid oneself of bad luck from the broken mirror was to tap the piece on a gravestone.

Jews will cover their mirrors during times of mourning. Some cultures won't hang a mirror in a baby's room for fear that something bad will happen to the child. And there is even an old wives tale that says a woman can see her future husband if she sits in front of a mirror eating an apple before brushing her hair.

I know some of these things are crazy right? But whether you believe in some or all or none, the fact remains that for many of us, mirrors can be something we avoid. I hate those 360 mirrors in dressing rooms, as long as I don't have to see how wide my backside has gotten, I can pretend it still looks like it did 20 years ago... Showing me isn't going to make me want to buy those clothes- it's going to make me want to go on a starvation diet! And whomever invented a magnifying mirror must have been young, no woman wants to look that closely at her wrinkles!

I hate mirrors, looking in them always turns into some type of critical self evaluation. 

From bad hair days, too much gray, things too tight, saggy, baggy, lumpy, bumpy, old... you get the idea. I don't think its just me, because I have seen lots of woman pass a mirror only to pause, look, make a face that at best can be described as a grimance, and walk on wishing they never gazed in the mirror in the first place. So what is about that reflection, why is it that when I look at the woman in the mirror I see all the things I'd like to change? 

I sometimes think I'd be better off not looking, or perhaps I should take the man in my life's advice and "get a new mirror". I wonder, what would I see if I got a new  mirror? Would I see the beautiful strong woman he sees? Would I see a woman that isn't afraid to start new thingsno matter how old she is? would I see a woman that is intelligent, capable, passionate, and determined to make a difference? I do know, thay is the type of woman that I want to see in the mirror, and that woman is me. Perhaps it is time to get a  new mirror, or at least look at myself differently in my old mirror... bad hair days and all!

Visit this site... It inspired the blog, but it's the people I love that inspire me.

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Looking for rainbows...And that pot of gold!

I remember when I was a kid how excited I would get whenever I would see a rainbow. My father had me convinced that if I could find the end of the rainbow there really would be a pot of gold. He would even drive my brother and I around looking for the rainbows end.Of course we never did find it but that didn't stop me from looking.

As an adult, to this day, whenever I see a rainbow I can remember how we would plot our scheme to catch the leprechaun and it makes me smile. Silly childhood stories associated with a natural phenomenon, but somehow it helps make cloudy days easier as I wait for the rainbow.

So why am I thinking about rainbows? Not because I have seen one recently and not because it's St. Patrick's day, that was over a month ago. I think it's because of what that rainbow and the pot of gold means to me. You see those stories helped me see the magic in ordinary events, they help me believe that a dream worth having was one worth the chase, and that even if you don't find what you were looking for the first time, you never give up trying... because some where out there is your pot of gold waiting to be discovered. Most importantly, is the knowledge that even without the gold, that rainbow is an amazing sight to behold. I am not sure if my father was simply trying to create some memories for his children or to teach us some metaphorical life lesson, but his stories did both. Now at a time when he is facing some difficult challenges, I hope I can help create the same sense of hope for him and determination he instilled in me.

Words from my father all those years ago, 'if you keep searching, someday you will find your treasure.'
My words to you dad... your treasures are all around you keep moving forward so you can enjoy them.

Dedicated to you dad, may you find the physical strength to endure the work, the mental strength to endure the pain, and emotion strength to keep the faith.

A life worth living... Finding meaning and purpose

My life over the past month or so has been at best stressful and at worst ... well I'd prefer to think of it as stressful. Without going into my tale of woes, let's just say i have had to take a good long look at my self, my life, the choices I have made, my priorities and I have had to decide what really matters to me. There is a Jewsh proverb that says something like this, don't ask for a lighter burden but for broader shoulders.' My mom used to tell me the you are nevergiven more than you can handle, only more than you think you can handle. That way when you do handle it, you realize how strong you are.

While my mom may be right, i often find myself wondering why all my 'tests' seem to come at the same time. Frank Clark said 'if you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.' There is another famous quote that says, 'adversity introduces man to himself.' Well I must say, I have gotten  to know myself very well lately... and what I learned is I don't have to be perfect, and the people I care most about will love me anyway. I have always tried to be strong, to be the one others came to in times of need. I would give my time,energy, money, whatever I had to help others, but when I felt burdened, drained, beat down, I very rarely asked for help. I didn't want to be seen as weak. I wanted to be perfect.

But life has a way of putting things straight whether we want them to be or not. I have always believed that things happen for a reason, so I have been searching for the reason behind the events of the past month or so. It wasn't until I read a recent blogpost of Umair Hague (See blog) that the reason started to become clear to me. In his blog, Hague gives 5 rules for finding reason: Total surrender, absolute clarity, real life, simplicity, and brutal honesty. To truly find meaning and purpose in my life, I need to surrender my notions of who others think I should be or should do, so that I am not saddled with their expectations.To find purpose in my life, i need to stop living a life up to other people's expectations, I need to be authentic to the person I am now, not the person others want me to be. I need to be clear on what I want, what I am willing to do for that and what I am not willing to do. I need to be absolutely clear on my priorities in life, in my career, in my future... my priorities. A life worth living needs to be more simple. I have cluttered my life by allowing other peoples issues to become my issues, i have worried about things and people that i have no control over, and I have given in to the craziness around me, making mountains out of mole hills and making things into more than they need to be. Most important, is I haven't been honest, not with myself and not with people I love. Whether it was fear that I woud disappoint them,my unwillingness to admit my mistakes or that I wasn't perfect, or the fact that I carry a full bag of insecurities... the result has been I have found myself faced with need to be brutally honest.

I often find that Hague's blog seem to speak to me at the moment I need to reflect the most.  This one was no different. My life was being flipped, and yet despite the fact that I was quite unbalanced by the events, I also felt a sense of relief. You see it is EXHAUSTING being perfect, it is more exhausting always putting everyone else's needs before your own. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I was treated to a little down time. Knowing what a challenging month I have had, a very special man in my life treated me to a mental health weekend. A weekend to recharge, to rest, a weekend with no worries, no demands, no stress, time to unwind and reboot.

It is amazing how much of life's woes can be cleared away by a weekend of pampering. A life worth living, one in which you can find meaning and purpose is a lot easier to figure out after a weekend of stress free living. I highly recommend you try it from time to time. As for my special guy, all I can say is that I feel very lucky to have a man in my life that knows exactly what I need and when I need it.