A life worth living... Finding meaning and purpose

My life over the past month or so has been at best stressful and at worst ... well I'd prefer to think of it as stressful. Without going into my tale of woes, let's just say i have had to take a good long look at my self, my life, the choices I have made, my priorities and I have had to decide what really matters to me. There is a Jewsh proverb that says something like this, don't ask for a lighter burden but for broader shoulders.' My mom used to tell me the you are nevergiven more than you can handle, only more than you think you can handle. That way when you do handle it, you realize how strong you are.

While my mom may be right, i often find myself wondering why all my 'tests' seem to come at the same time. Frank Clark said 'if you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.' There is another famous quote that says, 'adversity introduces man to himself.' Well I must say, I have gotten  to know myself very well lately... and what I learned is I don't have to be perfect, and the people I care most about will love me anyway. I have always tried to be strong, to be the one others came to in times of need. I would give my time,energy, money, whatever I had to help others, but when I felt burdened, drained, beat down, I very rarely asked for help. I didn't want to be seen as weak. I wanted to be perfect.

But life has a way of putting things straight whether we want them to be or not. I have always believed that things happen for a reason, so I have been searching for the reason behind the events of the past month or so. It wasn't until I read a recent blogpost of Umair Hague (See blog) that the reason started to become clear to me. In his blog, Hague gives 5 rules for finding reason: Total surrender, absolute clarity, real life, simplicity, and brutal honesty. To truly find meaning and purpose in my life, I need to surrender my notions of who others think I should be or should do, so that I am not saddled with their expectations.To find purpose in my life, i need to stop living a life up to other people's expectations, I need to be authentic to the person I am now, not the person others want me to be. I need to be clear on what I want, what I am willing to do for that and what I am not willing to do. I need to be absolutely clear on my priorities in life, in my career, in my future... my priorities. A life worth living needs to be more simple. I have cluttered my life by allowing other peoples issues to become my issues, i have worried about things and people that i have no control over, and I have given in to the craziness around me, making mountains out of mole hills and making things into more than they need to be. Most important, is I haven't been honest, not with myself and not with people I love. Whether it was fear that I woud disappoint them,my unwillingness to admit my mistakes or that I wasn't perfect, or the fact that I carry a full bag of insecurities... the result has been I have found myself faced with need to be brutally honest.

I often find that Hague's blog seem to speak to me at the moment I need to reflect the most.  This one was no different. My life was being flipped, and yet despite the fact that I was quite unbalanced by the events, I also felt a sense of relief. You see it is EXHAUSTING being perfect, it is more exhausting always putting everyone else's needs before your own. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I was treated to a little down time. Knowing what a challenging month I have had, a very special man in my life treated me to a mental health weekend. A weekend to recharge, to rest, a weekend with no worries, no demands, no stress, time to unwind and reboot.

It is amazing how much of life's woes can be cleared away by a weekend of pampering. A life worth living, one in which you can find meaning and purpose is a lot easier to figure out after a weekend of stress free living. I highly recommend you try it from time to time. As for my special guy, all I can say is that I feel very lucky to have a man in my life that knows exactly what I need and when I need it.