Developing Resiliency

Resiliency... I have thought a lot about this word lately, struggling with challenges that have tested my own resiliency, watching as those that I love endure their own struggles and trying to encourage them to be resilient. However tonight, the word resilient took on a new meaning, because tonight I attended the funeral of someone who found that they were not longer able to be resilient. It was sad, sad for the family, sad for his friends, and sad for those us there to support the family even though we never met the man for whom the funeral was taking place. The minister giving the eulogy reflected on psalms, spoke of the family left grieving, and shared his belief that in times of need we need to turn to a higher power for a source of strength. I listened and wondered how often during the last year as this man suffered he turned to a higher source. I do not mean for this to sound as if I am trying to blast religion, because I know that many people find great strength in their beliefs. Rather, I wonder about those that don't find that strength. I think about my father and reflect on how his faith has been shaken because he cannot understand why has to suffer. Then I wonder why there are those that suffer way more than my father and somehow seem to find a way through it without being shaken... Resiliency? I don't know, but as you have probably figured out from reading previous blogs, whenever I wonder about things, I start doing some research. Perhaps this research was a little more urgent and personal, because I hope that what I learn I can share with the people that I care about, those having their own resiliency tested.

In my research, I came across articles, books, even a few Army training videos. I watch speeches given by various presidents after national tragedies and listened to news videos in which various psychologists gave tips and advice. However, when I came across a video by Dr. Sirols something clicked. What she had to say made sense, real practical advise that I could share- quick and easy tips on ways to help people develop their resiliency. Nothing like a "fast track" mentality for developing a skills that can save your life, but I figure if it can help someone, why not share what I learned which is what I am attempting to do in this blog. So here goes...

3 Ways to help develop resiliency (Dr. Sirols)

1. Mindfulness- Become at peace with yourself through relaxation, meditation, reflection, journaling or whatever you find relaxing. (I guess this blog might serve as my path to mindfulness!!).

2. Live Authentically- Live the life you know you should be living. (Dr. Sirols put it poetically in the video so I will let you listen to her yourself!)

3. Move- Move towards those things that bring meaning, purpose, and joy into your life. So often we are paralyzed by fear. We resist acting because we are afraid that it will not help the situation, but Einstein would call that insanity- doing the same thing and expecting different results. The only way to move forward it start moving, even if we fall back a little, we will never get ahead if we stay in the same spot.

Most importantly... To be resilient we need to be connected and we need to turn away from the negative thinking... why me? 

I am not a psychologist, not a counselor, and not an expert... but what Dr. Sirols said in her video made sense to me. It was consistent with my thinking and my experience. My desire to share this video, comes with a hope that if you are finding yourself in place where your resiliency is being challenged, where you feel that you are being tested, that perhaps you will find this information helpful. The saddest moment in life is when we see those we love lose hope and give up... if this can help someone find a way to fight through the rough times, to bounce back, have faith, believe that things can and will get better, then this blog will have accomplished what I hoped it would... what I hope it will!